There once was this girl, this fabulously emotional girl that lived in a country full of wonder. The land was decorated in plants of various greens and gold. The earth orange, brown and greens. It was a land of beauty. A place like a picture, the kind found hanging on walls of fancy art exhibitions. Only standing on the land, watching the passing of the day, could one really see the truth of its beauty. No painting could do it justice. For all its beauty you can sense the danger it holds.
She, like the land was beautiful. Not the kind of outer beauty that made men stop and drink in the sight of her. No, she has an inner beauty that shines outward. Shines so brightly, many have to turn away or risk being blinded. The brown tussles of her hair rarely entice compliments but her inner nature does. The way she walks does not make men whistle, nor does the plainness of her face but her eyes hold you captured. Those blue eyes know stories that can calm you, that can frighten you, that can make you think. Those eyes shine with youth, with wisdom. They shine with love, forgiveness and understanding. She shines with love and compassion but don’t ever take that as weakness. She is stronger than you and I.
Meka is her name. Meka the wise, Meka the lovely, Meka the strong.
Meka stood on the edge of the cliff. Wasn’t very high up but it was the perfect spot to watch the rising of the sun to greet the day. She looked over the edge, the stone cliff face was spotted with bushes . She marveled at the twisted branches, followed the roots into the rocks small cracks. The only foothold they had. It seemed like such a precarious life, sending tiny roots into the tiny crevices. Yet the plants seemed firmly planted in life.
This made Meka’s heart flutter, the thought of life. Just at that moment the sun began to set. The sky changed from blue to different shades of orange and reds. The sunset marked the time he would wake. She smiled to herself. A smile of pure love and delight as she turned away from the setting sun and headed for home.
The cottage was a short walk from the cliff. It faced out to look over the ocean, surrounded by trees and shrubbery. The greenery looked out of place amongst the pebbles and sand before it but it was her home. The place she felt safest in the most.
Rushing inside she saw he was already there. The blinking “hi, you there?” was on her screen. He must have woken early just to talk. before she even sat down, Meka typed back a reply “Yes I’m here”.
Her laptop beeped with reply.
“Meka I love you but we need to talk”
Her heart skipped a beat. Immediately she knew something was wrong. She took a few moments to gather herself before she typed back to him.
“Tommy is there something wrong?”
“Meka you are the most kind, loving person I have ever met but I’m afraid I cannot be with you. I’m sorry…”
Her heart shattered, she reread his words, sat there staring at the screen willing it not to be true. Never noticing he had gone.
Moments flew by. Time seemed to stop. Meka couldn’t move or comprehend his words. After what seemed like hours she finally allowed herself to cry. She wept all alone in her cottage, the place she had made for them both. She wept all night long, until she finally exhausted herself enough to sleep.
Meka awoke in the afternoon to find herself curled into a tight ball upon the floor. She shivered with the days chill, slowly stretching her limbs to ease the stiffness. AS she stood up, Meka glanced at her laptop and saw a new message from Tommy.
With a heavy heart but also with hope, she sat down and clicked the message.
“Meka my love,
I do love you but I cannot be with someone like you. You are too emotionally unstable for me to handle. I cannot take tears. It makes me uncomfortable. It is not that you cry with abandonment but when you do cry, it is like the world has killed its very soul. No one with a heart could ever withstand such pure love such as yours. It is too much to bare.
I placed you on a pedestal. I worshiped you. I believed we could make a life together, but I was wrong. Your beauty blinded me. The honesty you express was a little too confrontational. I made you larger than life, so large you eclipsed my sun. My world turned dark except where you shone.
Then one day you made an error of judgement, you showed that even one with such inner beauty as you hold, can have a darkness within. A hidden evil. Something to destroy souls. This is why I shall never be with you.
My love, I cannot bare the real you. The facade of pure, the light you shine is nothing more than a harpy’s call. You would devour my soul. Destroy all I am, in the name of love. You must understand why this I cannot allow to happen.
My heart aches. You are not who I made you out to be. You have female whimsical emotions that have betrayed you. Wish it wasn’t so but I cannot move past your actions to hurt another, regardless of the unjust they unleashed upon you. May God have mercy on your soul.
You were my first love. My first heartache. my first true friend.
Goodbye T”
Meka stared at the message. She read it again and again until she realised his meaning. Tears freely flowed down her face, soaking into her dress. Placing her head onto her arms, Meka cried. She cried until there was no more tears left. Until she had no more energy to cry. Until the emptiness took her over.
She remembered the incident he referred too. The one Tommy could not move past. Thinking about it made her angry. The heat of the anger rising from the pit of her stomach.
How dare he.
How dare he take one single moment in time and solely focus on it. How dare he take her one misdemeanor and decide that it crossed out all of the good deeds she had done. How dare he find one single flaw and decide that made her unworthy.
She counted all his flaws and of those there were many. Not once had she complained of his hot headiness. Not once had she considered his cruel jokes of others as something that meant he was unworthy. She never complained about how he over thought things or when he became quiet and withdrawn. No, she accepted him faults and all because she knew he was a decent person. A man worthy of loving.
She reread his message, with reality dawning. He couldn’t leave his current life. His mother needed him, the distance to Meka was too far. His only option was to find a flaw, something he could never live with. Something for him to hate.
With a heavy heart she wrote him a simple message in reply before deleting all connections with him.
“Tommy it is ok to hate me, if that is what you need to heal”
Meka went to the counter where Tommy’s photo sat. She picked up the silver framed photo with a gentleness that could only convey love. She caressed his face with her thumb. A small smile turning the corners of her mouth, as she whispered “I understand”.
The sun was about to set. Meka placed the photo face down, grabbed her shawl from the back of the lounge chair. Slowly she walked back to the cliff. She looked over it, at the twisted bushes, down at the jagged rocks below, across to the ocean that continued its splashing upon the shore regardless.
Before the sun began to set Meka let one single tear roll down her face, before she left the life she had made behind…
harpyfreedom 